What happens when a guy actually finds one of these... i was bored. i went skimming through the personals...and this one guy's description of his match caught my eye: "A princess with an uncommon flair. Someone not afraid to try something but always sees the positive in having failed something. There is no such thing as a perfect match. There are so many sides to someone that you should think that within the rainbow of your personality, you have many different sides and so much to give. " That's by Patrick_6667 on Match.com. LOL. i know..i'm a goofball. oh well..i thought it was very....cool. Hope he finds his princess.

Step One: Turn Page to New Chapter Ok. Here we go. Had a long talk last night with my friend, KT (luv, thank you for spending your precious cell minutes on lil ole me). He reiterated something very important: How long were Lex and I together? And how long was my longest relationship. 3 mos vs. 3 years. Did I get over DC? Yes. Will it take as long to get over Lex? Prolly not. Have I forgotten how to do things on my own? Nope. So, do the things that we used to do together and take them back - make new memories. Don't necessarily overwrite the old ones but, perhaps, enjoy the fact that they were done, and know that they will be done again in the future maybe with someone else.

KT also pointed out that in the SF Bay Area, particularly with our circle of friends, it's easy to be single. Everyone else is. And we're all around the same age. Now, that could either be a really sad commentary about the Bay Area - or about us, or, a very cool thing - we're all cool being single? He's from SoCal and all his friends are all about 2-5 years younger than he is, and they've all got girlfriends or are married, so, he always feels like the odd guy out. But, when he's up here, he can go out with all of us, and we can all have a blast. I guess it's true. Good healing zone. This weekend, I'm out with the girl's. Lex's sister is still very cool with me and she's taking me out.

I entertained the thought of cutting my hair off. But, that was veto'd by one of my girlies; she said, "Why let him take something else away from you?" Hm. Point taken.

I find that each day is a lil better. The tears are no longer on the edge, threatening to spill. Once I get my appetite back, I'll KNOW it's all good. I love me some food.

Keep it real.... Listening to Soundtrack from Undercover Brother. Solid. I was listening to Bruddah Iz, but, it illicited too many memories. Trying to keep up and not thinking about stuff.

I wish.... that this pain i have in my heart would go away. that i could make myself forget the walks, the talks, the companionship, the laughter. i was so pissed off yesterday when i went to say my say. he stood a good 10 feet away from me, so that i couldn't hit him - or so that we wouldn't have an incidental touch which would be ultimately more painful. he stood there while i told him that he cannot make people pawns in whatever game he is playing. I left saying that I was so disappointed in him and myself. How could I let him pull me in again...only to have him rip my heart to shreds? I didn't get any questions answered, like -- how can you go from a seemingly wonderful relationship to...saying you care only as a friend? And how can you do something so bastardly that you sacrifice even that friendship? Why do I still care?

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me Well, kids. It happened again. Twice in two months, I have had my heart trampled on. By the same guy. This time, he told me over the phone that he is in love with his ex-girlfriend (who I didn't really even know was still in the picture). This is after she called crying, and he left me for over 12 hours (no calls to let me know he was ok) and then called saying he had his talk with her, and made his decision that he only cared about me as a friend. This is stuff you don't do to a friend. I know most of you will object to this, but, tonite, I'm going to get that face to face that he cheated me out of yesterday. I am going to tell him that he cannot go around devestating people just because in his muddle of confusion he hasn't sorted his feelings out. He cannot do to others what he had done to him - or, I guess he can - but, I'm just going to map it out for him exactly what was bad form and how to perhaps save him from losing a good thing in the future. I was totally duped into thinking that he cared for me more than a friend. Now, the question is -- how do I learn to be able to trust again?